Forget the Zombie-Apocalypse, Black Friday was far more menacing

I sat there in the recliner with a grave look upon my face.

Was I watching football or anticipating the feast that was being laid out before me on Thanksgiving? 

Neither, I was preparing for the horde of shoppers I was about to encounter at a local shopping establishment.

Usually, myself and a few hundred veterans of Black Fridays past would be relaxed during Thanksgiving. Knowing that only a select few of us would have the moxie to go to sleep early for the 4am opening that was the past norm.

Then something horrifying happened. Stores decided to open on Thursday at 10pm.

I froze.

WHAT?

That is not late enough to keep the rookie wannabe Black Friday shoppers at bay.

It became unsettleing to me. To the point where I had considered just skipping the entire Black Friday experience all together.

Then a friend asked me if I would join him and his wife in their shopping exploits.

How could I refuse a friend who had never experienced the onslaught that was about to befall him? 

I couldn’t.

So there I sat. Getting my game face on.

Plus I figured while I was there I would get the boys a pretty good gift this year. The prices were amazing!

As we arrived into the parking lot of the hallowed Mart,  erected by the late great Sam Wall, I knew we were in trouble.

The parking lot was full. Not storm is coming must stock up on the essentials full. This was beyond anything I had seen before.

I thought about convincing my friend that this was a futile effort.

That we should come back and fight another day.

Or at least wait until Cyber Monday.

But we were there so we might as well face it together.

Then it happened. While waiting in the Wii line, we were separated. I was stuck with in a queue and he was left to wander the aisles.

From time to time, I would catch a glimpse of him as he passed by the line I was entrenched in.

As each moment grew, you could feel the excitement in the air as fellow shoppers began the countdown to 10 pm.

But all I could think about was my friend. Where could he be? What horrifying tales would he have for me when this was all over? 

And how the heck was I supposed to find him in this horde of humanity?

I put all this behind me and focused on the task at hand. Must get a Wii for the boys.

Then it happened. The manager announced that it was go-time.

What happened next was pure chaos as the horde was released on their prey, unsuspecting devices and gadgets that would have sat untouched if not for the ridiculous prices they were marked down to.

Luckily I was early enough in the queue that I scored the Wii for the boys but the rest of my list was left incomplete as the items I had wanted were, for the most part, picked clean.

So as I advanced to the next pitfall in our journey, the check out line, I found my friend and his wife.

She had made out like a bandit but he had failed in his conquest as well.

Chest fallen we made our way back to our vehicle defeated.

But next year, we will be ready. Hear that zomb... I mean...shopping horde, we will be ready. So you better watch out.